


toys vs. boys: the interview

by Yahong



Series: 6Vixx [2]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluffy Smut, absolute crack, no actual on-page smut, y'all... my crack somehow got crackier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 11:17:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20446262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yahong/pseuds/Yahong
Summary: Your six boyfriends try to justify why they got jealous over a dildo (except Ravi, who laughs at their foolishness).Part one:toys vs. boys





	toys vs. boys: the interview

### Hakyeon

_What was your initial reaction to seeing her dildo?_

**Cha Hakyeon**: I was embarrassed. And surprised. It looked so—so out of place, falling out of Y/N’s bag like that. It was the last thing I expected to see right then.

_Word is that you were in the middle of getting hot and heavy with her, though._

**CHY**: S-so? Just because I’m giving my girlfriend some attention doesn’t mean I want to see sex toys popping out of nowhere.

_Then how would you describe her reaction?_

**CHY**: I think she was embarrassed too, though she never shows it that much. We were… we were kind of in the middle of something, so she said to just leave it.

_Obviously you didn’t just leave it_.

**CHY**: I was caught off-guard! I didn’t feel like I could just continue eating her out with that thing out in the open.

_Why not?_

**CHY**: Because—because it was so unexpected.

_She’s not the type to use sex toys?_

**CHY**: …I didn’t think about it before. But it’s not like I was horrified or turned off or anything, understand? It was just surprise. Y/N-ah is still Y/N-ah no matter what she uses.

_So was it your idea or hers to use it?_

**CHY**: Well, I think she kind of sensed my, er, surprise. She picked it up and asked me if I’d ever played with one before.

_And what was your response?_

**CHY**: Honestly, I can’t really remember… I was kind of wrapping my head around the sight of that thing in her hands right there on my couch.

_Then how did that lead to its usage?_

**CHY**: Um. I do remember that she said it was okay to be surprised, because men sometimes react that way to sex toys. And, well, how else would she know that except if, you know, she’d used it with—with her other—her ex-boyfriends?

_So your jealousy over her exes beat out your jealousy over the toy_.

**CHY**: It’s not like I was jealous of it in the first place! It’s just a penis-shaped toy! It’s totally fine for Y/N-ah to use whatever she wants to use!

_Y/N quotes you as saying, “I’m bigger.”_

**CHY**: …I mean. It’s true. I looked the model up online after. It’s only seven inches.

_But you did end up using it_.

**CHY**: I’d rather be using her toys with her than not. And she—she liked it. So it was fine. It was good. I was fine. As long as she likes it, it’s fine.

_You were fine?_

**CHY**: Okay, obviously I would have preferred to be inside her instead of that thing. But after we were done with the thing, I gave her so many orgasms she was begging me to stop. So it’s fine.

_Sounds fake but okay_.

**CHY**: It’s not fa—!

_Moving on… do you anticipate using the toy, or any other sex toys, with her in the near future?_

**CHY**: I can’t say I _anticipate_ it, but I’m not going to say no. (…I can’t really say no to her at all.) Just as long as she knows that it’s me and her at the end of the day.

_As opposed to you, her and a dildo…?_

**CHY**: I said I’m not jealous!!

* * *

### Hyuk

_What was your initial reaction to seeing her dildo?_

**Han Sanghyuk**: I was surprised. Really, really surprised. Because it was in N-hyung’s bedroom, and I know he’s not super into that kind of thing, not like Ravi-hyung. But then it turned out… it turned out to be hers.

_And what was your reaction when you realized that?_

**HSH**: Um. Well. I was, you know, kinda aroused. It’s hard not to be when I think about Y/N-noona in that kind of context, okay? But when I actually imagined her, uh, using it, I started feeling really bad.

_Bad in what way?_

**HSH**: I mean, it’s for… masturbating. So that means noona would be using it by herself. Without me, or anyone else.

_…Yes. That is the definition of masturbation_.

**HSH**: I’m not saying she shouldn’t masturbate. But buying a toy isn’t really like using fingers, is it? It’s, like, an investment.

_People usually find pleasure in using toys to spice up their sex lives._

**HSH**: She’s not usual, though. She’s got all of us. If she wanted spice, she just had to ask. She could’ve asked me, and I would’ve done whatever she wanted, I would’ve given her all the orgasms she could ever—

_Would you have used the sex toy if she asked you?_

**HSH**: … She didn’t. She used it with N-hyung.

_It’s a hypothetical question_.

**HSH**: … … Maybe. If it was really in the moment, and I didn’t think about it too hard, maybe.

_You did say that you were initially aroused_.

**HSH**: …That’s just because it’s her.

_So you’ve never enjoyed using sex toys before?_

**HSH**: If you’re asking whether I fucked around before Y/N-noona, no.

_According to Hakyeon-ssi, she did_.

**HSH**: She did what?

_She did_—

**HSH**: Fuck around? Is that what you’re saying? Look, I didn’t agree to this interview to be attacked, okay? I’m not interested in hearing about how much more experienced noona is—

_If you could please sit down and refrain from ripping off your mic pack, that would be much appreciated_.

**HSH**: Jeez.

_To finish the sentence, it was Hakyeon-ssi’s understanding that Y/N-ssi did enjoy using sex toys before_.

**HSH**: So what? So what? Maybe she had a loser for an ex who couldn’t get her off with his tiny dick. It doesn’t mean anything about our relationship!

_… Being comfortable enough to bring toys into a physical relationship could be viewed as a sign of healthy communication, actually_.

**HSH**: Well, so Tiny-Dick could communicate with her, big deal. If she really wanted to, I’d use the toy with her too!

_So do you anticipate using the toy, or any other sex toys, with her in the near future?_

**HSH**: Any other—what other—she has more? Why would you know that??

_Again, it’s a hypothetical question_.

**HSH**: Screw your hypothetical questions.

_You seem very worked up about this._

**HSH**: Whatever.

_Do you view sex toys as a barrier to your relationship with Y/N-ssi?_

**HSH:** What is this, a psychological counselling show? I just want to be the one to make Y/N-noona feel good. I want to be the one who satisfies her so much she never leaves. Is there a problem with that?

_… So, in Internet slang, if you dick her down good enough, maybe she’ll love you_.

**HSH**: She already loves me!! And I love her! Screw this interview, I’m done!

_Sanghyuk-ssi_—

**HSH**: Just you wait. I’m gonna make her come so hard she screams. I’m gonna give her three orgasms in the bathroom right next to this stupid studio so all of your interviews get interrupted.

_…Please don’t do that_.

**HSH**: Just you wait!!!

* * *

### Leo

_What was your initial reaction to seeing the dildo?_

**Jung Taekwoon**: …I didn’t know what it was.

_You didn’t know what it was?_

**JTW**: No.

_So how did you find out what it was?_

**JTW**: Jaehwan-ah started freaking out, and when Hakyeon was explaining himself, I figured it out.

_Then, once you did understand what it was, what was your reaction?_

**JTW**: …I was confused.

_Confused?_

**JTW**: Yes.

_Can you elaborate as to why you were confused?_

**JTW**: …I was confused about why Y/N-ah owned the toy.

_You didn’t expect her to own sex toys?_

**JTW**: It never came up before.

…

**JTW**: … … 

_…So you didn’t have any problems with it beyond the confusion?_

**JTW**: I didn’t say that.

_So you did have a problem with it?_

**JTW**: Like I said. I was confused. I wondered why she had never brought it up and why Hakyeon was defending himself the way he was.

_Does that mean you felt he didn’t need to defend himself for using the dildo with Y/N-ssi?_

**JTW**: No. I was wondering if he really believed what he was saying himself.

_And what was that?_

**JTW**: He said as long as Y/N-ah felt good, he didn’t mind if she got off from something else other than him.

_You didn’t believe that?_

**JTW**: …It’s not unreasonable to want to be the only one for her.

_Is that the way you feel, Leo-ssi?_

**JTW**: … 

…_We have a claim from Y/N-ssi that you gave her a very large hickey after learning she had owned the toy for over three months_.

**JTW**: Because it meant she had used something else other than us to get pleasure.

_You viewed it as a form of cheating, then?_

**JTW**: No. Of course not. But those orgasms could have belonged to us. It was simply a reminder of that fact.

_It sounds rather like you did have a problem with the dildo after all_.

**JTW**: I said it’s not unreasonable to want to be the only one.

_Okay. Moving on… do you anticipate using the toy, or any other sex toys, with her in the near future?_

**JTW**: No.

_No? You seem very sure of that_.

**JTW**: We know what we want of each other.

_What if she asks to use it one day?_

**JTW**: …I’ll stuff her full of myself and wait until she stops orgasming to see if she asks again.

_… Right. Let’s wrap up here…_

**JTW**: By the way, I heard what Hyuk said. Where’s your bathroom?

* * *

### Hongbin

_What was your initial reaction to seeing the dildo?_

**Lee Hongbin**: My initial reaction? Disgust, I guess. I thought it was left over from one of N-hyung’s exes.

_It didn’t occur to you that it might belong to Y/N-ssi?_

**LHB**: Well, no. We were in N-hyung’s apartment. And she never mentioned anything about things like that before.

_So you were surprised to learn it was hers?_

**LHB**: …Not surprised, exactly. We’re all pretty liberal. Look at this relationship of ours.

_Yet Y/N-ssi reports that you were one of the more aggressive proponents against it_.

**LHB**: Just because I know people use sex toys doesn’t mean I have to be happy about Y/N-noona using one.

_Why were you unhappy?_

**LHB**: …No good reason.

_Then please share the bad reasons_.

**LHB**: Look, maybe it’s a caveman dude thing, I don’t know. But I’m just not into the idea of my girlfriend using another dick to get off. Even if it’s a fake one. Actually, _especially _if it’s a fake one. Why use a fake one when she has so many real ones available?

_Some would say that mutual masturbation is an exciting part of their sex life_.

**LHB**: Some people are obviously not the seven of us. And it’s not exactly mutual if she doesn’t say anything about it until months later, is it?

_Would you be more comfortable with the dildo if she had introduced it to you right away?_

**LHB**: _Introduced?_ It’s not a fucking person.

_To rephrase: would you be more comfortable if she had brought it up to you right away?_

**LHB**: She didn’t, so I don’t know. All I know is that she’s been taking a fake dick for the past three months.

_As you just pointed out, it isn’t a person_.

**LHB**: …Let me put it this way, all right? She’s been clenching and milking and coming all over something that is _not_ one of our cocks. She’s been filled and loaded and penetrated by something that is _not_ one of our cocks. She’s been—

_Ah, yes, uh, yes, yes, we get the picture_. _Then we'll wrap up with the last question... do you anticipate using the toy, or any other sex toys, with her in the near future?_

**LHB**: …Did you not hear anything I just said?

_You’re right, excellent point_—

**LHB**: If noona still wants fake dick the next time we have sex, she should probably prepare herself for my—

_And cut … cut…!_

* * *

### Ken

_What was your initial reaction to seeing the dildo?_

**Lee Jaehwan**: Absolute disbelief. I knew it could only have been N-hyung using it with Y/N-ah. And I thought he knew!

_Knew what?_

**LJH**: The agreement—Y/N-ah is ours and ours only.

_And the dildo infringed upon that agreement?_

**LJH**: I mean, think about it. A dildo is just a fake penis, isn’t it? It wasn’t even a vibrator or one of those cute bullet things… it was just a dick! Nothing special to it!

_So you’re open to using other sex toys with Y/N-ssi besides dildos?_

**LJH**: Of course, if we talk about it first. It’s only fair to make sure everyone’s comfortable with the arrangement.

_And you’re uncomfortable with dildos specifically_.

**LJH**: Yes! It’s almost like buying a sex doll, right? How could I _not_ be uncomfortable?

_A sex doll seems to be a bit of a stretch from a dildo_.

**LJH**: My point is, there’s nothing about it that we couldn’t provide her. So it feels like she’s replacing us.

_Do you worry about her replacing you?_

**LJH**: Excuse you, we are in love. Don’t even try to get in between us.

_Then why do you feel that a dildo replaces you?_

**LJH**: Because there are so many other men trying to do exactly that! It’s almost a burden, how perfect Y/N-ah is. I wish other people couldn’t see it.

_So, is it accurate to say that the dildo represents your fear of rivals?_

**LJH**: Please. I don’t fear rivals. I just don’t trust any men around her.

_…Dildos are inanimate objects, not men._

**LJH**: Jeez, you sound like her. If it’s just an object, then she can just let it go and let me give her everything she wants, can’t she?

_Our understanding is that she has, in fact, agreed to let it go_.

**LJH**: Which is why we’re so perfect for each other. Even when we disagree, we figure it out in the end.

_So do you anticipate using any other sex toys with her in the near future?_

**LJH**: Like I said, as long as we discuss it first. I mean, I know I can’t vibrate like a rabbit vibrator can, so if she wants that, I get it. Though she’ll have to let me try my damn best before we get some toy that claims to give better clitoral orgasms than a man. I’m pretty sure she’d say that I’m more than proficient with my tongue—

_Yes, well, thank you for your time, Ken-ssi_—

**LJH**: And honestly, she’s always so beautifully surprised every time I reach her A-spot, I can’t imagine she has any complaints about penetration. I’ll ask to make sure. Plus she never lets me give her as many orgasms as I want to give her, so I’m assuming she’s satisfied with that…

_Yes… Hakyeon-ssi said something similar_.

**LJH**: What? N-hyung said what? He said what?

_He also suggested that he, ahem, treats her well enough that she asks him to stop_.

**LJH**: Psh. Maybe that’s what Y/N-ah tells him, but everyone knows N-hyung doesn’t have the creativity to really stimulate her. All he’s got is stamina. Who needs two hours of missionary style when you could be having real fun?

_Right. Well, our time is up_—

**LJH**: She’s just being nice, she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. That’s how she is, you know? But N-hyung needs someone to say it to his face: he’s got no game, man.

_Thank you, we’ll wrap it up right here—_

**LJH**:Well, we’ll try it out, all three of us. We’ll see who’s left standing at the end!

* * *

### Ravi

_What was your initial reaction to seeing the dildo?_

**Kim Wonshik**: I was surprised. I didn’t think N-hyung liked playing with sex toys. I should’ve figured it was Y/N-noona who got him into it.

_So you weren’t surprised when you learned it was hers?_

**KWS**: Well—I guess I was still a bit surprised. But it made more sense. And—

_And?_

**KWS**: I mean. I was… happy it was hers.

_You were happy it was hers?_

**KWS**: I was turned on, okay?

_A few of the others did mention that your proclivities lean toward that kind of play_.

**KWS**: Jeez, it’s not a crime, is it? And obviously Y/N-noona is into it as well, so I’m the winner in the end. Both of us are. So there.

_You foresee this as a good development for your relationship, then?_

**KWS**: Totally. All the others are idiots. I’m positive that doing what she likes in bed, what we both like, is only gonna deepen our relationship. Why fight something when you can use it to pull her closer?

_Do you feel this will impact her relationship with the others?_

**KWS**: I mean, I know noona won't want it to. But hey, no way I’ll say no to getting a little more attention from her than the others. If they decide to beat their chests and reject sex just because it involves a dick other than theirs, it’s their loss.

_Do you consider their reluctance irrational?_

**KWS**: Okay, I’m not going to lie and say I never get overprotective around noona, all right. Sometimes she’s so oblivious around men, it's like she’s gonna pick up another six boyfriends before she even realizes it. But as long as it’s me and her in bed together, the sky’s the limit, you know? It’s just… it’s just so good, when we’re together, that I want to see where we can go and what we can do next. Sorry, excuse my sappiness.

_No need. This is a very nice change compared to previous interviews_.

**KWS**: I bet. Were they all trying to say that they could please noona better?

_Something along those lines, yes_.

**KWS**: Ah, those dumbos. The point is _her_ pleasure, not _you_ giving her pleasure. Her pleasure and yours together, that’s what makes the magic work.

_Very glad to hear that. To wrap up with our final question, do you anticipate using the toy, or any other sex toys, with her in the near future?_

**KWS**: One hundred percent. If she asks, I’m all in—… did you hear that?

_Um. PD-nim, could you please close that door_—

**KWS**: Is that coming from the next room over or something? Why… 

_I’m sure it’s nothing. Thank you for your time, Ravi-ssi_—

**KWS**: Hang on. Hang on.

_Well, take care on your way out_—

**KWS**: That’s noona. That’s fucking noona. She’s here? Why is she—why does she sound like—who is she with—

_Ravi-ssi, please remain calm, there’s nothing to concern yourself about_—

**KWS**: Fucking fuck, who is that with her—?! 

_Ravi-ssi, wait, your mic pack_—!

**KWS**: HAN SANGHYUK, you little shit, I’m gonna tear your head off!!!

_[Exit stage left_._]_

**Author's Note:**

> ...Pure crack. Pure crack. I don't have the FAINTEST clue where I came up with this interview concept, except that I wanted to see just how wildly I could spin their justifications for making them act so ridiculous in the first fic... anyway hope you enjoyed OTL


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